So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
