Apparently you make a good broom.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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