I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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