Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize