just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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