DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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