that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
