another moral hangover. fuck.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
