I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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