she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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