just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
