I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
