i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
