It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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