did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
