sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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