we have officially lost it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
