with your own penis?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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