So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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