if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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