Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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