you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
