i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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