True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
