What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
