How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
