I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
