it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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