I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
