he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
