Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
