Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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