i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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