It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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