We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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