It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
