Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
