I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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