Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
