I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i would punch a child for taco bell
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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