My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
our cab driver is having phone sex.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
