your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
