So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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