My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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