Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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