just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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