Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
