My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
