Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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