she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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