my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I came so hard my ears popped.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
