im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
