Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
