did you get engaged???
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
