this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
