I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
