My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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