I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
