mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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