For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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