Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
