Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
