Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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