I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
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